Keep it Real

Sometimes you have to wonder... Let me just say I am (PC) Morbidly Obese... I just say I'm fat. That makes some people really uncomfortably. I don't mean to make them feel that way any more than I believe my friends don't mean to make me feel bad when they make a reference to someone else who is over weight by saying she was (reach out touch my hand and say I don't want to offend you) So then I say large. They laugh and say yes... As if it gives them permission to make fun of FAT People.. However it makes me wonder if they ask my permission to make fun of over weight people in front of me then what are they doing when I'm not there. It makes me feel like I'm not really accepted only tolerated. I realize that some folks don't know any better, but really? It is the same thing about tattoos. People say did you see her she had tattoos all over her. Then as an after thought look at me and say well you know what I mean. My answer is why yes I do and it applies to me too. So here is the question. Why can't people just keep it real. Why can't they truly be honest if they really want to be your friend. It's not like the person who you are trying so hard to keep from knowing how you really feel doesn't already know it. I can't name how many times I haven't wanted to attend a so called friends function because I know that all the other people there are doing their best not to offend me. Walking around not telling their observations of the rough girl and her tattoos, and the over weight woman who was hilarious because of what she was wearing. I chose the tattoos and have to deal with the ridicule or the negative responses. I did not however choose to be this weight and I can't do anything about it so... Yeah it hurts my feelings so called friends. Just like it would hurt yours if I made observations or pointed out your flaws. Guess what... you have them too. Just keep things real. Don't treat me any different than you would any one else. If you are choosing to make fun of those of us who are over weight please don't pretend that I am some how excluded. I'm not. Just keeping it real.

Deep

Often in times things happen that really make me take a deep look at my own self. In my life time I have had the honor to grow up with extremely smart and talented people. I have always been so proud of my Parents accomplishments and in awe of my siblings talents. All of my siblings have musical talent that is evident, but they all have other just as amazing talents. I have always been so proud of them and secretly wished I could have some of that talent. Don't get me wrong I can keep time and stay on key but nothing amazing musically and I have other talents like being an awesome mom and a good wife. So I'm not on a pity party or anything but I need to say that to say this. I have been present more times then I can count when my parents or siblings have been given high praise and witnessed them being told how talented they are on numerous subjects and I have always, always, been extremely proud. I was proud of them and proud to be their sister. None of my siblings can say the same thing about me. None of them have ever sat and listened to someone tell me how talented I am. How would they react? I assume they would be just as proud of me as I have always been of them. That's what family is suppose to be supportive of each other and proud of each other's accomplishments. So why do family's not support one another. I know a lot of families who are broken. I hate that for them. I am so lucky and blessed to have a family that I would do anything for and we have called on one another in our times of need. Let's face in life if you don't have people around you who got your back then life would be super lonely. All families have things that happen that we all don't agree with, lets face it we are all different people and have different likes and dislikes. I hope that we can see past our differences and forgive, agree to disagree and move on. I worry a lot about our daughter, she is an only child and when we are gone who will she have. She will be all alone in this world. I have shed many tears about that particular subject. I wish I could give her a sibling so that she will have someone to turn to in times of doubt, grief, and celebration. Someone to spend holidays with life is hard enough without trying to do it all alone. So I guess what am saying is that all you only children who have grown up and lost both of your parents. I admire you.. Family is important and we should never forget that.